So far, so good. I just have a couple critiques. 1) Alpha and Beta were trained by this institution, this Consortium. Yet Beta is shown to be well-versed in combat, even upstaging Alpha twice in the beginning. Alpha, on the other hand, is… being shot. That’s pretty much his training being shown, him being a moving target, living conductor, and bullet-sponge. I get that he can heal, but it has been established that he suffers brain-strain when constantly and/or egregiously suffering wounds; it’s been shown that he can also be killed (temporarily, yes, but easily). I just thought that a… Read more »
thank you for your comment. I’m sure there’s plenty to critique about the story, I’m sure of it considering it’s pretty much “the first” story I ever made and it’s been slowly build over the course of many years. still, I’ll counter with a few explanations about why certain things happen. 1) Ivory was trained since creation and with a dedicated purpose, she’s generally “more skilled”, and scientist have put more thought on her training and also taking care of her. 1) Alpha is pretty much hated by the director, and he certainly hasn’t made his life easier, his training… Read more »
Kiaun
Author
Derideal
15-Isolation
Derideal updates Monday and Wednesday!
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